Saying “No” to others means saying “Yes” to yourself. There is no need to be guilty of refusing at times. As social beings, we love to find ourselves in the belongingness of a circle of friends so we don’t feel alone and have a fun time. To the point, some people tend to become people-pleasers already that it is not healthy anymore. Do you consider yourself like one too?
According to Dr. Hyman, being nice while being unhappy is a form of lying. It is both unfair for the other person and yourself. It can also cause conflict in the near future if this is always the case. Thus, being honest in a nice way is a better move for this kind of situation. It is alright to refuse an invitation yet giving an assurance to help and attend the other time is great. With this, we must come to realize that the benefits of saying no has a long way to go!
Related Link: 3 Basic Tips for Achieving Mindful and Slow Mornings
We need to learn our priorities in life such as our family time, self-care time, and work time. Knowing the measures of how important the invitation is essential. Having a list of priorities on your planner a week can help you manage your decision-making.
When you are young (teenage years), you can accommodate more social activities than when you are an adult already. I do appreciate people now who are respectful of your time and ask in advance to meet you; may it be work or social kind of meeting. Your rest days become so precious this time because it is only the time you can complete your sleep.
Saying “Yes” to Self-Care
One benefit of saying no is making time for self-care. In a world full of stress and tension, we need to intentionally devote time to care for ourselves. Remember, we work to live and not the other way around. If you don’t feel like accepting the project because you are loaded already, let go of it and explain yourself. If you don’t feel like hanging out on a weekend, then refuse the invitation. You can save your sanity as early as possible. Choose what you can indulge in to make you feel better.
It is important to know your boundaries first before setting them. Saying “no” is a kind of self-respect. You become in charge of your pace in a day. This also signals to other people their limit in terms of asking you favors and errand that most times has nothing to do with your benefit. When they felt that “wall”, they will be aware and respect your terms especially in professional settings.
Well, the dilemma frequently is being asked by a family member or a friend so often. If you feel like the boundary is crossed and not healthy for you, just be honest this time and simply say “no”. Boundary-setting is a practice in mindfulness.
Avoiding Abusive People
Some people are really into taking advantage of other people’s weakness. The Yes Man (someone who always says yes) is one of their favorite. Of course, saying no is one way to avoid this kind of people and probably the only way to stop them.
Testing Genuine Relationship
The relationship here includes all kinds such as family, friends, and colleagues. Saying “No” may make you rude, selfish, or insensitive to other people. But when it comes to people who have a genuine relationship with you, they will understand and will never make any fuss about you declining invitations or not accepting favors.
How do you say no to others? Do the examples in this post are part of your experience too?
Share your thoughts below!
Support this blog by leaving comments, sharing this post on social media, or buy me a cup of coffee.
So true! These are the things you will achieve when you are able to say no. It’s important for our own self care. Plus, you’ll know a person’s true colors when you say no.
So right Fadima! Glad this post resonated well with you too.
That’s true, it tests the genuine relationship! I forgot about this. I know the benefits of saying no, but I have a hard time doing it.
Thanks for this helpful post!
So true. Thank you Michelle!
I need to say no more, I’m the worst for agreeing to do things I don’t want to do!
It’s okay Eleanor. 🙂 At first, you are uncomfortable saying “No” but eventually you can take your to stand to say no.
I think it’s important to say yes to invitations because if you say no all the time then people won’t bother asking you again. But I love your point about saying no sometimes so that you can say yes to yourself, that was beautifully put!
Thank you, Lisa. Of course, the balance still is the key because you can’t always refuse. 🙂
I love this, often we are told to say yes but saying no when you don’t want to do something is equally important! x
Yes, Caroline! It is for self-respect. You speak about it, surely the people who genuinely care understand. 🙂
If you can say no to someone and they can value your reasoning then they are probably a true friend.
Oh Yes, Jamie. You get also that point. 🙂
Fab points! I’ve struggled a lot with saying no in the past so this was super helpful. I really agree with what you said testing genuine relationships – people who truly care about you should understand. Thank you so much for sharing x
Thank you! I got you there. 🙂
I’m so much better at saying no now than I ever have been before, weirdly I think covid and the lockdowns helped as our time was just so precious that I only wanted it for those who I valued the most x
Hello Alice! So true, the pandemic allowed us to have more time to ourselves. x Thank you for your comment!